I sometimes get so overwhelmed with repeated mistakes, repeated sins, failures, fears, worry. On my worst days, I tell myself I’ve wasted 42 years (or however old I am on that day I have said this to myself over the years). I tell myself I haven’t learned anything. And now, with Facebook, Pinterest and constant “reality” shows…we have “perfect” to compare our lives to. Well, perhaps not reality shows…they sometimes make me feel better!
I realized this morning that I many times do this because I think I’m straying from God’s path. It’s the whole unforgiveness of self thing combined with fear of the next stumble. However, I am on MY path…and Jesus met me there. He walks with me. This morning, in a devotional, it says He walks before me AND with me. Holding my hand. On my path. My broken, weed filled, rocky path that is surrounded by beauty. Many days though, I don’t lift my eyes to see the beauty, because I’m looking down at my screwed up path. I tell myself I ruined the path. It was perfect and I ruined it….and I’ll probably keep ruining it.
My path was never perfect though. God is perfect however, and He meets me on this path of mine. He doesn’t wait for me to reach the top. He’s not waiting down at the bottom. He’s walking with me…holding MY hand. He reminds me to look around at His beauty. Some days I listen and look up. Other days, I just focus downwards and feel empty and lost. He knows the trail ahead, and keeps walking with me.
There are days ahead when big stuff will get in my way. Sadness will get in my way. Fear will consume me. Instead of rocks and weeds on my path, boulders will be there, and huge trees will fall across it. He’ll still be there though. Helping me get over it, around it, through it. He’ll remind me again to look around and not worry and be overwhelmed about this imperfect path….enjoy the beauty of the moment…the beauty of the walk.